Back to School Coping Strategies
Let’s be real. Going back to school can feel overwhelming after a summer away – uniquely so for queer, trans, and gender expansive teens. If you’re feeling highly stressed about starting the semester, you’re not alone, and your feelings are valid.
Let’s talk about a few major challenges that you (or your teen) might face returning to school and some ways to cope:
1. Anxiety & Overwhelm: Going back to school doesn’t just involve getting back into learning mode – it also involves navigating social structures that aren’t always supportive. For queer, gender expansive, and trans teens, this can mean: getting misgendered or dead-named, worrying about using the bathroom safely, and/or facing bullying and microaggressions. Encountering these pain points can understandably make the thought of going to school anxiety-inducing and even unsafe. While these are symptoms of larger systemic problems that need significant change, here are some ways to cope in the meantime:
a. Identify safe peers and adults – anyone that you can reach out to during the day.
b. Find a “safe zone” – a physical spot in the school where you can recharge.
c. Practice affirming self-care before and after school.
d. Keep a grounding tool within reach (i.e. a bracelet, fidget, or written affirmation).
2. Navigating Difficult Peer Dynamics: This pain point is an extension of the previous one and further highlights the challenge of navigating the social structure at school. Teens that struggle to fit in or actively have strained friendships may find it hard to focus – especially if emotions are heightened. For queer, gender expansive, and trans teens, it can be exceptionally difficult to know who is “safe” and who is potentially harmful. Consider:
a. Finding your community – even if it’s just one safe person at first.
b. Remembering that you deserve to take up space just like everyone else.
c. When needed, developing an exit or recharge strategy for situations that feel unsafe or overwhelming.
3. Balancing School with Well-Being: For teens that are managing mental health struggles and/or dysphoria, getting through the school day can take a lot of energy. These teens may encounter burnout more quickly and can easily feel exhausted after a day at school – in addition to homework/after-school commitments.
a. Set realistic academic goals – baby steps count!
b. Check in with yourself throughout the day – ask yourself “what do I need right now?”
c. Allow time to recover after especially difficult days.
d. Incorporate joy & creativity when you’re able to.
Remember: you deserve to take up space. Your identity is valid and deserves to be protected. Seek out community where you can be yourself without fear of judgement. Reach out for support as much as you need to and know that others are glad to help.
If you’re experiencing an extreme level of bullying or other social harm, please be sure to tell a trusted adult. If you feel like you need extra ongoing support to manage what you’re feeling, look for a therapist.
If you’re in crisis, here are a few trusted resources:
The Trevor Project: 866-488-7386 or text START to 678-678
National Suicide Prevent Lifeline: 800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line: text START to 741-741
Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860